Hey there,
I’m at sleepaway camp! Every summer, I spend a few weeks working on the Mental Health Team at my son’s overnight camp.
The best thing about it? Working directly with the kids. It’s such a special opportunity to bring my expertise directly to the campers, helping them navigate all the feelings that can bubble up at camp.
This week’s tips are inspired by exactly that!
Tip #1: The Power of Playing Cards
I don’t leave my cabin without a deck of cards in my pocket. In fact, I keep a deck in my purse, my glove compartment, and on my coffee table year round for my own kids. Do not underestimate the power of playing cards to help you and your child (or any child!) through an emotionally charged moment. Whether they’re dealing with boredom, bashing a sibling, or bringing a next level tantrum to the table, you can use a deck of cards to help them through it.
I lean on playing cards in three different ways.
1. Play Solitaire to Invite Curiosity:
Just start playing (even in the middle of a conversation) and see if your child gets curious or wants to join. There are many versions of this game you can play and teach your child. I recorded instructions for a simple version at this link.
2. Play and Teach Card Games
Whether your child is the perfect age for Go Fish or BlackJack, card games are an easy way to connect without demanding eye contact or talking about (or shutting down when addressing) feelings. For boys, they can feel competitive, but the games are quick and can feel inconsequential.
3. Teach Card Tricks!
This is not the first time card tricks have appeared in Two Tip Tuesday. Kids feel powerful when they know something others don’t. During an emotional collapse, why not give your child a dose of power by teaching him an impressive card trick to try on others. Here’s a VERY BASIC BUT ASTONISHING trick that I shared with you a few years ago, and it’s still a winner. At my son’s birthday dinner last week (at this Gluten Friendly Gem in Oakland), we played several rounds of “Petra” – a complicated but very portable game that’s great for ages 10+. Hit reply if you’re curious. I’ll make a video if there’s enough interest.
Tip #2: Black Widow Brain
In my workshops about Mindful Parenting, I like to use the Incredible Hulk and his human form, Bruce Banner, as a metaphor for what happens when stress hormones (aka cortisol) rise in the brain.
Banner Brain:
Bruce Banner is a chill guy when he’s not hulking out. When your child is in his Banner Brain, he’s resilient to stress and even criticism. He feels safe, confident, and in control. He has access to empathy, creativity, and learning new things. Banner Brain is pumping oxytocin and “tend and befriend” hormones.
Hulk Brain:
This is when cortisol levels rise from embarrassment, shame, a threat to their sense of safety. It’s not a great time to learn a lesson (ask Hulk!) because adrenaline and rage are pumping and the #1 goal is to protect the self, often with anger, aggression, blaming, stonewalling, etc…
But did you know about Black Widow Brain?
Black Widow Brain:
One of Black Widow’s super powers (of many) is helping Hulk transition back to Banner…and we have a lot to learn from her. Just watch how she does it – notice her calm energy. She gets low. She says very little, and what she does say…well, it doesn’t even matter…As you watch the video, imagine the next time you want to channel your inner Black Widow. Bonus Resource – In Case You Missed It
Last week, I hosted puberty expert Amy Lang inside The Boy Mom Academy, and the conversation was so practical and reassuring that I wanted to make the recording available to everyone.
→ Click Here to Watch the Replay
I also posted this infographic, which several moms really appreciated. I didn’t want you to miss it. Remember that every boy develops on his own timeline, but knowing the general sequence of changes can remove some of the mystery.
I hope all of this is helpful! As always, hit reply if you want to connect. I love hearing from you .
❤️ Rachel
P.S. Look out for my upcoming masterclass called “How to Do a Back-to-School Family Reset”
This is one of my most popular workshops of the year. You can register now right here, right now. I’ll show you exactly how to inspire your kids to follow systems and routines for a successful school year, using 4 basic tools.
Need More Support? If you could use help parenting your strong-willed or emotionally explosive child, schedule a low cost trial session with me, and we’ll make a plan together. You’re not alone. (New clients only please) Book a Trial Session