Hi!
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about those conversations with our kids that we know we need to have (or should have) but dread starting, especially knowing they make everyone uncomfortable.
This week’s tips are all about working around that discomfort.
Tip #1: Let Someone Else Break the Ice
Some of the heaviest topics (social media, drugs, porn, consent) are also the ones kids are most likely to shut down when we bring them up directly. One of my favorite workarounds: let a documentary or a news story do the heavy lifting for you.
Documentaries are especially good for this. You’re sitting together, watching something a skilled, third-party made, and the conversation opens naturally. The initial message gets delivered without anyone feeling lectured. Common Sense Media has a great watch list of Movies and TV Shows About Social Media and Digital Life,for kids ages 8+. For ages 12+, my personal favorites are:
- Social Dilemma — the risks of social media, told by the people who built it
- Childhood 2.0 — what growing up online is actually doing to kids
- Screened Out — a closer look at screen addiction
Pick a topic you want to tackle, find an age-appropriate documentary, and schedule a watch night. Ice cream is optional but recommended.
News stories work too, especially with teens. The Eric Swalwell story this week gave me an opportunity to talk with my boys about respecting women, the abuse of power, and the reality that public consequences can have whether or not someone is proven guilty. It’s a heavy conversation, but so much easier when I’m reacting to something external.
I’d love to know: what documentaries have helped you have hard conversations with your kid? What do you want to watch next? Comment below and let me know!
Tip #2: Free Resources from Ryan Parke
Last month, 250 of you signed up for my workshop with author and men’s coach Ryan Parke, Moms with Sons: 3 Steps to Having Inclusive, Engaging, and Effective Conversations with Boys, and the insights he shared are still coming up in my group sessions and private conversations weeks later.
It was probably the most impactful and important event I’ve ever held in my 16 years in the parent education space.
Ryan makes a lot of his work publicly available, so I wanted to share a few ways you can learn from him on your own schedule:
- His website: TheMensCoach.co.uk covers his trainings and coaching plus topics like phone addiction, male mental health, and the research behind his approach.
- His book: How To Help Him is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
- Social media: He’s most active on LinkedIn, but this Facebook post about the Manosphere and Boys is worth your time specifically.
If you want access to the recording of my event with him, you can join The Boy Mom Academy at the “Ryan-Parke-Rate” (a one-month trial with no long-term commitment) and still have plenty of time before it comes down on June 12. Email me before Friday to get this exclusive replay!
❤️ Rachel